So, what do we have here with that movie "Parlor", or, as I found it in
some places, "Anarchy Parlor".
The movie starts off in Lithuania, where the movie was shot entirely. A bunch of U.S. students makes a joyride to hang out, party and have the occasional sex with friends and local chicks. So, first of all - a lot of nudity is included, many hot ladies and their goods show up on the screen - for me personally surely a huge plus. Especially gorgeous Beth Humphreys is a win win !
So far, this pretty much is analogue to "Hostel" - and I have to admit, I am a bit tired of eastern European countries painted as "backwood countries", where only uneducated, cold hearted people live. I am married to a Croatian girl, and the people there and in the near countries are friendly, polite and very nice :-) But well, I see what they tried to do - foreign, dangerous surroundings, no one will help you. Okay then.
The story is about a tattoo shop named "Parlor", and some sinister happenings around the shop and it's owner. Here comes the one and only Robert LaSardo - for than time for him to get a lead role, since basically everyone (!) has seen him in at least a bunch of movies, usually as the gang member, criminal, or something this way.
Also, a huuuuuuge eye candy factor is well known tattoo model (and from time to time "actress" Sara Fabel - I love tattooed girls, and I have for some unknown reason a faible for angry girls...? So, on top she has a smoking hot body, so she was, in my eyes, another big plus for this movie, despite her acting skills being average - in the best case. Basically she is not good, but being hot and angry is enough for me to have no further complaints about her :-D
There is some pretty rough gore - I would not consider "Parlor" as torture porn or even a "hard" movie. In my opinion, as someone who has - literally - seen thousands of horror movies, some tough scenes do not make the complete movie a "hard movie", but well, some scenes are not for people with sensitive stomachs. Tattoos, some torture, some Hostel parallels - I guess you can figure out where that goes.
The acting, in general, is pretty average, even from beloved Robert LaSardo - he is a unique type of guy, not a good actor. I like to compare that to Zombieboy, same here (but he is not in this movie - he probably should have been though !). But, we are watching a low budget horror movie here - I don't expect Oscar worthy acting, so that's okay.
The effects were well done in most scenes. Without wanting to spoil you I can say, that there is at least one scene including a gun, where the effects were clearly made in Adobe After Effects, and not by a professional, so that looked ugly. All other scenes were okay.
Did I mention that there is a LOT of nudity? In clubs, strip bars, hotel bedrooms and so on.
I did not like the ending a lot, to be honest, but again I am used to this from many, many other movies. At least it does not let open any questions or something, and yes, of course the end offers room for a possible sequel - which I would watch, definitely.
In summary "Parlor" is a well executed horror movie with an awesome cast in terms of tattoo fans (LaSardo and Fabel are icons in this scene, to which I do belong) and in terms of hot girls going naked. Average acting, a plot that offers nothing new, a forgettable soundtrack and some mean gore scenes make it a 6 point movie, which probably is rated a bit too high for this movie in general - but I give it, because it fitted my expectations - no, it was better even than I expected.
To make it as short as possible thus closing the circle to the title of my review: for a horror fan, what is not to love about a movie with tattoos, gore and tits? :-)
Fully recommended !
ANARCHY PARLOR is a horror film about a mysterious nomad simply known as the "Artist" who practices a dark art form passed down through the generations. He creates much more than tattoos for tourists who visit his Lithuanian Tattoo Parlor. Shot entirely on location in Vilnius Lithuania, ANARCHY PARLOR features two well-known cast members in the tattoo and horror world. Heavily tattooed lead actor Robert LaSardo (Death Race, Nip/Tuck, Human Centipede 3) portrays "The Artist", and Sara Fabel (well-known Finnish tattoo artist and model) plays his seductive apprentice "Uta". Anarchy Parlor will be a frighteningly, terrific thrill to the die-hard fans.
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August 05, 2016 at 01:24 AM